Conversations as the Landscape Changes
Come in,
Put your feet up,
Sorry about the mess
I’ve been so distracted with-
A vague gesture met by a vacant stare, a
Smile, Distracted by what? It’s been a while since we did this
You know, I reply
Turn on the oven for dinner, the shootings
The pain
The years of it boiling over
The dead Americans and
The tiny men in bulletproof vests who shoot them
The people fighting for their lives
Knowing it just hasn’t reached here yet
Knowing it’s not outside yet
Oh, she replies
Distant eyes, I try not to pay too much attention
I’ve been so focused on the kids
I’ve been so focused on my life
We have to put the mask on ourselves first, right?
Rest, relax, give yourself some grace
It’s negative twenty and the blinds are closed
Nothing out there but ICE, but ice
People falling like snowflakes from the plane falling from the sky
People who flew out the open door, into the wind, away
Some of us have broken curtains
Some of us can’t stop looking
How’s work?
The safest topic
The only thing we’re both still doing
I got a good bonus. I don’t like going anymore. But the job market, you know? The insurance.
Nodding, thinking,
About a little boy with a spiderman backpack alone in Texas where he doesn’t live
Will you still go to Florida this year?
A shrug, an admittance that the world isn’t what it used to be
We’re saving,
We both sip the coffee, elbows on the table
For what?
The tightening of lips, lines under the eyes that didn’t used to be there
A shrug,
Like its safer this way
Like our phones might tell Them that we’re not spending money on purpose
Like it might shatter the glass to admit we don’t know what’s coming
I have to get the kids,
Schools out because of all the threats
It was good to see you
We should do this again
A hug that feels like hugging empty air for
Both of us
Drive safe,
I hope your car battery still works today
I hope everyone we love gets home safe, too
I wave you down a road we don’t walk together anymore
Both of us just surviving